Thank you, Dr. Dobson.
I know what he's getting at, and it's a wonderful idea, isn't it? And a truly good thing to strive for. It's a big part of the American Dream.
I'm speaking as a very single person here, so that does affect my point of view, but I kinda think that's hogwash.
What if the person you can't live without, *can* live without you? Time to hit the drawing board. Back to the end of the queue. What about all the people throughout the world that are married to someone who is not the person they "can't live without"? Even worse, it's only supposed to be the person you *think* you can't live without. Never had buyer's remorse, eh?
Marriage, what a beautiful institution, what a wonderful experience. What a damn responsibility, what an irritation, how much damn work it is being in a relationship you can't back out of!
If you want to get married, find someone that is worth spending that energy on. Because you're going to spend a damn lot of energy on that relationship, especially if you have designs on that relationship lasting for a lifetime. Make a good decision. Don't just do it out of love. Do it with love, and with an eye for all the problems, too. If you don't think you have the energy to make it work with this person, over, you know, the next thirty years... forget it. Maybe they're someone that you think is amazing and you can't live without, maybe they're "just" someone you think you can make it work with. Making it work is going to be the nuts and bolts of your relationship for the length of your marriage...
Settling for someone is not an advisable choice. On the other hand, if you find yourself on the steppes of Russia for the rest of your life, and you think getting married would be a good idea, settling for someone just might be the decision you have to make. Make sure you make it wisely.
A hugely important part of any relationship is being able to appreciate the image of God in the other person. You don't have to see it as such; I don't think that way about my friends, I see it without knowing I see it. But the longer you get to know someone, the more you are going to have to be able to see it, or the less you are going to be interested in that relationship. In my few years on this earth, this seems like something I am finding.
2 comments:
Ah! Well, then! You need a new prescription! The official trailer link is on the bottom, and I'm sure you can watch it in clips on youtube, but you can also stream in on netflix. I will not take any further comments on the subject, until I know you've actually seen the movie :oP
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rab_Ne_Bana_Di_Jodi
Even if you marry someone you can't live without over time you may find that's not enough. Love is action. Love is a CHOICE. You choose to wake up each day and love the person you picked to spend your life with... More important than children, your job or your own happiness is the commitment you made to your spouse (before God). I think most of the times when marriages end it's because people are too lazy to keep working at the relationship. Their needs and wants come before their spouses. I hear "I'm not happy anymore" or "I just don't love them like I used to." Why? Because you aren't putting the effort into making it work. It take time and money and energy to make a marriage work. Going out on dates, talking together and keeping the fires burning (if you know what I mean).
But you know what? It's worth it. Marriage is amazing! Hard work but amazing. And aren't the good things usually the hard things? When you work for it and put the time and effort into it that's when the reward comes.
My wish for you: May you still get butterflies in your stomach when you see your spouse after you have been married a decade or three.
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